carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
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