Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248) Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well. http://tfl.nu/x3ib
  Replies (2) Good night (1432) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick http://tfl.nu/et20
  Replies (24) Good night (1568) Bad night (6146)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  it hurts more in the daytime

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): it hurts more in the daytime http://tfl.nu/5j5m
  Replies (13) Good night (681) Bad night (2429)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  So I'm banging this nun...

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): So I'm banging this nun... (314): Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already... http://tfl.nu/ygf2
  Replies (35) Good night (7433) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation? http://tfl.nu/p01u
  Replies (2) Good night (2481) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog http://tfl.nu/4hna
  Replies (2) Good night (1057) Bad night (3438)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers http://tfl.nu/q3tc
  Replies (7) Good night (2167) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it... http://tfl.nu/f47h
  Replies (8) Good night (956) Bad night (2074)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct http://tfl.nu/jyp0
  Replies (3) Good night (1741) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I remember it like it was tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love (1-860): I remember it like it was tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/1n7o
  Replies (2) Good night (2288) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON

  (+61): View more from Australia

  SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE

  (+61): View more from Australia

  THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON (+61): SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE (+61): THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL. http://tfl.nu/d007
  Replies (9) Good night (1492) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king. http://tfl.nu/29xr
  Replies (7) Good night (1380) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still http://tfl.nu/f9lt
  Replies (3) Good night (329) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding http://tfl.nu/mji7
  Replies (3) Good night (320) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness http://tfl.nu/y6iu
  Replies (11) Good night (765) Bad night (275)

Randomize