Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(808): View more from Hawaii

i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.

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(808): i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/roae

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(631): View more from New York

there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby

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(631): there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby http://tfl.nu/vnsn

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air

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(610): the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air http://tfl.nu/jv3m

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.

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(321): she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much. http://tfl.nu/ucje

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(816): View more from Missouri

Absence makes the cock grow harder.

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(816): Absence makes the cock grow harder. http://tfl.nu/yyl1

Replies (17) Good night (6755) Bad night (1211)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph

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(732): all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time (1-732): swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph http://tfl.nu/tobf

Replies (11) Good night (4761) Bad night (1096)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.

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(604): Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub. http://tfl.nu/91f9

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(773): View more from Illinois

while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"

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(773): while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future" http://tfl.nu/uwag

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(770): View more from Georgia

Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.

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(770): Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way. http://tfl.nu/age7

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.

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(401): I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands. http://tfl.nu/2kp5

Replies (20) Good night (913) Bad night (2782)
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(206): View more from Washington

Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me

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(206): Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me http://tfl.nu/vrj3

Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (451)
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(206): View more from Washington

Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers

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(206): Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers http://tfl.nu/6qq2

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(330): View more from Ohio

lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA

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(330): lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA http://tfl.nu/ocjg

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(719): View more from Colorado

I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda

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(719): I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda http://tfl.nu/ejn7

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(589): View more from

seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.

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(589): seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him. http://tfl.nu/0cck

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