forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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