That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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