Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
