So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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