Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
