6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
