Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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