Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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