My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
someone owes me an orgasm
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
