I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i dont even know how to be here
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
