I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
