i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
