i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
