You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Randomize
