After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?