why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.