She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
