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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Damn. That makes sense

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day

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• (209): View more from California

  I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.

  (917): View more from New York City

  I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.

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• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman

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• (207): View more from Maine

  He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season

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• (914): View more from New York

  So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.

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• (619): View more from California

  I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I deserve to be covered in dicks

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.

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