Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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