yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
