I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
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when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
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My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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