I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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