I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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