Little spoons don't ask big questions
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
