spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
