I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
