I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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