if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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