Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
