How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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