Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
