There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
