Already got asked if we're dating
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
