can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
