singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
