We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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