watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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