My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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