Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
