You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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