wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
