he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
