I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize