Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i think my cat just said my name.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
