I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
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My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
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How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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