Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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