singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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