my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
