So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So apparently I’m into choking now
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
