i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
