i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
