im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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