Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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