She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
