summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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