There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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