i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
