the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
